Verbal and non-verbal communication: how to get rid of unused sounds and gestures

Paralanguage is the unconscious use of sounds or gestures that do not carry a semantic load, but only fill the gaps between words or thoughts. Although these elements may seem insignificant, they significantly affect the audience's perception of the speaker. So, let's figure out what verbal and nonverbal paralanguage are, how harmful it is and how to get rid of it.

Verbal paralanguage: parasitic sounds
Verbal paralanguage includes various sounds that we unconsciously pronounce during a conversation. Most often, these are the vowels “a”, “e”, “i”, “u” or the consonant “m”. Sometimes combinations are used: “ae”, “ai”, “am”, “em”, “aem”. These sounds do not carry any semantic load, but only create the illusion of a continuation of thought.

To get rid of parasitic sounds, you first need to learn to notice them in your own speech. To do this it is useful to record your thoughts on audio or video, and then listen to the recording, paying attention to the presence of extraneous sounds. It is also worth observing the speech of other people to better recognize verbal paralanguage. Once you learn to hear these sounds, try to consciously replace them with pauses. Over time, this will become a habit, and your speech will become cleaner and more professional.

Nonverbal Paralanguage: Inappropriate Gestures
In addition to unnecessary sounds, there is also non-verbal paralanguage – monotonous, repetitive gestures that do not carry a semantic load. Unlike meaningful and justified gestures that complement and illustrate what is said, paralanguage only adds rhythm to thinking and speech or serves as a kind of protective barrier for the speaker.

Nonverbal paralanguage includes the following gestures:
1. Holding your arms bent at the elbows (one or both) in front of you
2. Beating the palms of a fast rhythm with monotonous movements
3. Maintaining a moderate rhythm with monotonous movements of slightly raised arms, bent at the elbows (swinging)
4. Head shaking while sitting
5. Rocking back and forth in a standing position, lifting the toes or heels off the floor
6. Finger clicking while thinking

To get rid of these distracting gestures you need to carefully prepare for public speaking. Think in advance about which gestures you will use to illustrate and emphasize key ideas. Analyze video recordings of your own speeches for the presence of nonverbal paralanguage. It is also useful to observe the body language of your interlocutors and famous speakers to better recognize inappropriate gestures and avoid them in the future.

Clean language as a sign of professionalism
The absence of verbal and nonverbal paralanguage is a sign of high speech culture and evidence of the speaker's competence and experience. When you speak without unnecessary sounds and gestures, the audience perceives you as a confident and prepared specialist. This increases the credibility of your information and enhances the impact of your words.

On the other hand, excessive use of paralanguage can cause listeners to become irritated, distrustful, or even doubt your qualifications. So work on your speech consciously and persistently –the results will not be long in coming.

Red flags:
- Using monotonous gestures that have no semantic load
- Filling the pauses between words and thoughts with meaningless sounds
- Ignoring the problem of verbal and nonverbal paralanguage in one's speech

Blue flags:
- Awareness and analysis of one's own verbal and nonverbal paralanguage
- Using pauses instead of filling them with unnecessary sounds
- Choosing meaningful and justified gestures to illustrate thoughts
- Constant work on improving speech culture and public speaking skills